organized by category


Why Did You Write This is a Book for Parents of Gay Kids?


Initial Questions

• Is it a choice?: “Is my kid choosing to be gay?”

• Is it Just a Phase? (Video): “My daughter came out to me, but I think it’s just a phase.”

Is It Just a Phase?: “My teenage daughter says that she’s a lesbian, but she had a crush on a man a few years ago, so it could be a phase. She’s sensitive about the topic and got annoyed when I accidentally referred to her future partner as her husband. I’m trying to be supportive, but I’m unsure whether it’s a phase or if she’s bisexual. How can I get better at this?”

• Should I Ask?: “I think my son might be gay. He never mentions any interest in girls… but he’s never actually come out to me as gay or anything like that. Should I ask him directly? Will this make it easier for him to tell me?”

• When Do I Tell Friends & Family?: “My daughter came out as bisexual to my husband and I a few weeks ago. We love her and support her, but we don’t know if we are supposed to reach out to friends and family to let them know? Is there a good time or a good way to tell others?”

• Why Didn’t He Tell Me Sooner? (Video): “Why did my son wait so long to tell me that he was gay?”

• I Think Their Friends Are Influencing Them: “My child has recently started hanging out with a different group of friends, and now says he’s bisexual. This identity-shift seems much more like a product of being influenced by these new friends, and not actually who he is–how do we communicate this with him?”

What is PFLAG? (Video): Watch to learn more about what PFLAG is, and how it supports families when one of their friends or relatives comes out as Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer or Questioning (LGBTQ).

• Being a Supportive Parent (Video): “My kid just came out… How can I support them?”



• Coming Out and Faith: “My kid just came out to me as a lesbian, and I’m worried that now they won’t have a relationship with their faith.”

• Losing Faith: “My teenage son came out recently, and I’ve noticed that he seems increasingly resistant to going to church with our family, as we always have. I’m terrified that he is turning his back on his faith. What should I do?”



• Having the Talk: LaShay Harvey, M.Ed. gives pointers on discussing safe sex with your child.

• Handling Sleepovers“My 13-year-old daughter is dating a girl and wants to bring her along on our weekend family trip to the beach. How do I seem inviting and excited about their relationship while still establishing ground rules about PDA and no sleeping in the same room, etc.?”

• Safe Sex: Continuing the Conversation“My 16 year old came out as bisexual, and I’m very supportive… I’m just not sure what I should say to her about safe sex. We’ve had ‘the talk’ before, but I had assumed she was straight at the time…”



• Defining Gender Terms (Video): Lauren Lubin, creator of the movement We Exist, sits down with Kristin Russo, co-founder of My Kid Is Gay, to explain the gender terms “transgender,” “cisgender,” and “genderqueer.”

• Masculinity & Attraction: “My daughter dates girls, but they are very masculine. I don’t understand this… if she wants to be with a woman, why would she be with women who look like men?”

• Understanding Trans Identities I understand what it means for someone to be gay, but I just can’t wrap my head around my child being transgender. I just don’t understand what this entails, so how do I talk about something I don’t understand?”

• Why Change Names and Pronouns (Video): Lauren Lubin, creator of the movement We Exist, explains why people might change their names and pronouns, and how to adjust to using the correct pronouns over time.



• Bullying, Depression and Warning Signs“My son was bullied relentlessly throughout middle school for being gay, and over the past year we have been trying to help him with anxiety and depression issues. But he’s starting high school now, and I’ve noticed that his depression seems to be worsening. I’m very worried that he might harm himself if something doesn’t change. What signs should I be looking for, and how can I help him?”

• Bullying in Schools: “What can my kid’s school do to help stop bullying?”

• On Bullying: ‘How Can I Help?’“My 13-year-old son told me that he was being bullied in school and that the other kids were calling him ‘gay.’ How can I help him without embarrassing him?” 

• On Covert Bullying: Drawing on her experience facilitating a Gender and Sexuality Alliance (GSA) at a West Philadelphia school, social worker Anna Krieger speaks about the kind of bullying that can often go unnoticed and escape accountability.



2 thoughts on “Frequently Asked Questions

  1. I wish there were more items related to bisexuality in the merch store. I’m bisexual and I’m looking for a way to subtly come-out to my family.

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